Ep 025 Getting Unstuck with Christian Counseling and Coaching - Guest Amber Kennedy
Welcome to episode 025 and an encouraging conversation with Amber Kennedy, a certified transformational coach and pastoral counselor who shares invaluable insights into improving mental health from a Christian perspective.
Amber discusses the importance of emotional acknowledgment, intentional relationships, and the spiritual dimensions of mental wellness. Discover how faith, community, and personal intentionality can lead to breakthroughs in mental health. You’ll find practical tools and biblical wisdom to navigate their journey towards healing and resilience.
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Amber Kennedy’s Bio:
As a certified transformational coach, certified pastoral counselor and Pastor of a local church, it is my passion to encourage the women and see them live on purpose with a purpose. As I partner with women in their goals, and as they process through life challenges, I see women receive clarity, as well as reach new levels of breakthrough. I believe in the unique value of women, and I want them to believe in themselves. My desire is to make a lasting, Kingdom impact in women’s lives that also inspires their spiritual growth in their relationship with Jesus Christ.
Counseling: Bethel Transformation Center
5 Practical Takeaways
Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize and accept your feelings without allowing them to control your decisions.
Build Intentional Relationships: Actively seek and maintain meaningful connections to combat loneliness and enhance mental health.
Engage in Spiritual Practices: Incorporate prayer and other spiritual disciplines to find peace and clarity.
Consult and Reflect: Utilize the support of counselors and coaches to gain insights and develop personal growth strategies.
Embrace Community: Find strength and support by engaging with local communities, such as church groups and social gatherings.
More Resources
Are you eager to break through diet strongholds and establish healthy habits for life? Schedule a Discovery Call to learn more about how Health & Wellness Coaching can help you in this area and others.
Show Notes
Please. note, show notes are automatically generated and contain some grammatical errors.
Amber Kennedy Interview
[00:00:00] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Emotions are, are part of life and they're normal and it's okay. It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad. There's nothing wrong with feeling the feelings and we want to acknowledge them because pretending like they don't exist and that they're not there can cause further issues, right? So we want to acknowledge them. We want to acknowledge that they're there and recognize them. Now, when it becomes a problem is when you get stuck in those feelings and stuck in a rut in those emotions and you're allowing your emotions to dictate your choices.
[00:00:59] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Thank you for joining us today. And I have my friend Amber Kennedy and Amber and I actually go way back. We met through a mutual friend in a mommy and me group. And that was when our kids were really little. Now my oldest is 13. So that was quite a different season of life. And A time ago. But Amber is a certified transformational coach.
She's a certified pastoral counselor, and she's also a pastor of a local church. And it's really her passion to encourage women and see them live on purpose with a purpose. She believes in the unique value of women and wants them to believe in themselves. I am so excited to hear more about your journey through counseling and coaching, and this is coming out in May; you may be listening to it at a different time, but May is mental health awareness month.
And so a lot of people are talking about mental health. It's a really big buzzword. And I'm curious, Amber, when clients come to you, what are some of the most common challenges? What are the themes that you see? The issues that people are facing right now.
[00:02:01] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Yeah. So I have different kinds of clients that come to me, whether they're, they're coming just to try to reach a goal or if they have some issues that they want to work through, whether that's just some, some issues from their past or maybe some just core beliefs they want to work through. They're all kind of different, but a theme that I've found that runs through.
The clients that I take in is that they're feeling stuck. They're feeling stuck in a place in their lives, and they, they just want some tools that will help them get to where they want to be and help them to move forward. And most people are just looking for someone that It's going to be a listening ear and encouragement a thought partner that's going to come alongside them and just help them as they process through their journey.
[00:02:57] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: I think that support is so huge, and it's something that you see with people a lot. And even though we have so many connections nowadays, we have so many resources. There are so many things people can listen to or things they can look at on social media. I don't think that that ever is going to replace the need for another live human.
To process things with you and do you find that people are struggling more so with loneliness or lacking connection with other people?
[00:03:28] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: I think that loneliness and a lack of connection is definitely a problem right now in our society, especially after 2020 and everything that happened just with the shutdowns and the pandemic. People are more just isolated in their homes and working from home more. I just feel like that sense of community whittled down a little bit, and I love technology.
I love. The ability for us to communicate in all these different ways through technology. And I mean, I especially love it through my coaching and counseling business because I am able to see clients virtually, which I love. But I do think that a sense of community has been really lacking, especially since the pandemic.
And so I do meet with clients that experience those just feelings of loneliness, wanting to connect, wanting to build a relationship. And, a lot of them do not have core relationships, really strong relationships in their lives, which is just so important and beneficial for our mental health.
[00:04:43] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah. And one thing that I've seen a lot in statistics is that it's particularly strong among the younger generations. It's a bit of a shift for some of us that are a bit older millennial generation and above, but we at least remember what that was like. It seems like we have an up-and-coming generation whose relationships have always been digital-first versus in-person contact and communication.
[00:05:10] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Yes, I agree with you completely. And I think that a lot of the benefits of technology can, you can also see just some of the negative impacts as well because there is that lack of Good communication. The skills that we learn just by being in person face-to-face with a friend or a coworker or family member it's, it's often lost in this digital age and social media era.
Right. And so it is important. It is important to, people outside of social from technology.
[00:05:54] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah, I think it's an important thing to bring up because when I hear people talking about this loneliness, sometimes that also comes with this sense of shame. Like I'm the only one, I'm the one that doesn't have friends or nobody knows me. And a lot of times people will see that as a personal problem that's just for them, when really I think they need to know and hear that you're not alone. That's not just you. It's not because there's something wrong with you of what you've done. There are so many other people that feel the same way, and it's up to each of us to reach out and make those steps to connect because I agree with you when it comes to mental health.
I think our connections with other people, having those relationships, having somewhere to go and someone to talk to and process is one of the biggest things that helps us in that area. And so if someone is feeling lonely, if they're feeling isolated, do you have any advice for them about how to go about?
Getting out of that world of isolation.
[00:06:58] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Absolutely that it's important for u So if we want to have those close connections, We need to make the effort. We need to make an effort to connect with people. We need to make the effort to call a friend and get together with them for coffee or, you know, go meet a friend for dinner. Or maybe if you're a new mom, just be intentional to seek out some of those mommy and me groups that are available.
And, and just become a part of a community, you know, Getting immersed in your local church and being able to connect in a Bible study or a service project there in, in your church, you know, just being intentional to develop those relationships is key is key to helping us feel connected. And to ward off those feelings of loneliness.
And that doesn't mean that those feelings of loneliness will completely disappear because I think that it's normal to feel those feelings sometimes. And that's okay too. You know, we, we, we can't rely on people to be our everything. That's why we need Jesus. Right. And Jesus is the one that really provides all that we need.
But if we want to have those close relationships, we do need to be intentional.
[00:08:22] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah. Being intentional. And I think you gave such an important reminder, too, that loneliness or sometimes those feelings can serve as a reminder for us to turn to Jesus first and to dive more into our relationship with him as well. That's really important. But I would love to kind of take a step back for you personally to hear what led you to get into Christian coaching.
And then as that journey went along to expand into counseling and kind of what are the differences and why was there a need to add another dimension to what you're doing?
[00:08:57] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Well, I feel like when I was a youth, the Lord really put it in my heart to minister to people through counseling. Although I don't think that I really Tapped into that realization when I was younger, it was in my heart, and it was something that I had considered. And as I went through the journey of my life, I, I did pursue passions in different areas of my life and had a brief career and acting and singing and did those things.
But as I rededicated my life to the Lord, he really just set my heart on fire. For ministry and he set my heart on fire to minister to women, especially, although for almost 20 years now, I've been in ministry and just various capacities, including the church that my husband and I planted in 2020. But just ministering to people in different capacities, ministering to women in particular.
And as I went along this journey, I started to become interested in coaching. And in 2019, I really began to pursue this and just love the way that the Lord would bring transformation through the coaching process as people would explore what they were going through and process their journey and really seek out to fulfill those goals and dreams and just tap into different things and how the Lord would just naturally through the coaching process, Draw out what he'd already placed within them.
Those answers to those questions are just through coach coaching tools. And just loved that, loved being able to minister to women in that way. And during the course of this journey that I've been on, Coaching women. I really began to tap into that passion that was already within me as a youth to counsel and began to consider like the Bible says, stretch out your tent pegs, you know, stretch, stretch out your tent, expand your tent.
Right. And and I felt like the Lord really wanted me to. Tap into counseling in order to expand my horizons to minister to women in another way. And so I received my coaching certification, and then I received my certification and counseling. And now this summer, I'm actually going back to school to get my master's so I can eventually take the exam to receive licensure.
And, and for me, the, the journey It is something that I really feel the Lord continues to take me on so that I can reach women and minister to them and just watch as the Lord transforms their lives through these to different yet similar avenues of ministry.
[00:12:01] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: That's such an awesome story and cool to see you following in your passions and letting the Lord lead you and just having more and more tools in your tool belt. And I know you have mentioned earlier that a lot of the women, when they come to you and they're looking to process perhaps from the past, things from the past or
mindsets. And you said a lot of times they're stuck and I'm curious, what do you think leads people to being stuck? And then what are the keys to getting unstuck?
[00:12:31] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: That's an interesting question. I think that sometimes we just get in a place in our lives where we feel that way. And whether that's, maybe there was a big transition in our lives. Maybe there was a big move. Maybe there was a job change. Maybe we're just in an interesting season of our lives where we have dreams and passions in our heart that we feel like we can't really reach out and fill for whatever reason. And because of these various factors, we begin to feel stuck. And so I think that things that help people to get unstuck are seeking out those thought partners along your journey, a good coach, a good counselor, a good mentor someone that can come alongside you and just help you as you figure out.
How to get where you want to be. And that can look different for everyone. And especially in the different seasons of life that we're in, but I do feel like, you know, if we have that person in our lives, that safe person in our lives that we can go to receive counsel, bounce ideas off of, you know, the Bible says that
there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors. If we, if we have that person or those safe people in our lives that we can process our walk with those moments, help us to get unstuck those moments, help us just to gain clarity and receive the tools that we need. And even to get some ideas about. How can we go about seeking the Lord so that he can speak to us and we can be sure that we're following the plans that he has for our lives?
[00:14:22] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: That's so good. And what I find in my coaching as well is that a lot of times the issue is not so much in my coaching of course, it's more about health and wellness and health habits. It's not that people don't know what to do. It's that sometimes they need to be reminded. And that's, I think we see that a lot in the Bible where the Lord is even instructing people to remember, to rehearse the good things of the past, to remind their children to continue to meditate on scripture.
And so sometimes. What that person can do for us. That's a sounding board is simply to remind us of those things and to help to redirect us
[00:15:07] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: yeah.
[00:15:07] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah. So how would you say, of course, is you're pursuing these different studies and forms of coaching and counseling and getting a degree there's a lot of different resources out there, different types of research, people of different backgrounds and approaches. But how would you say that your faith?
Influences your approach to mental health and to counseling people.
[00:15:31] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Well I love that question because my faith in Jesus is really the center of Of what I do of everything that I do. And so my goal is really to listen to Holy Spirit, follow where he's leading and just go where the Lord is directing me to go. And so just throughout this journey that I've been on with the Lord, He's just taken me on so many beautiful and wonderful adventures and I continue to listen and follow him.
And so as far as counseling, as far as coaching, yes, my faith is the center of what I'm doing. And, and that's what I offer. I offer Christian counseling, I offer Christian coaching. And so the worldview that I'm coming from is a biblical worldview. That doesn't mean that every client that comes to me needs to be a believer in Jesus, but it, the conversation is going to center around the Lord and, and how can he be, how could he be influencing their life or directing their steps?
And so. He is at the center.
[00:16:42] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah. And I think in a lot of other thought, there might be an idea that you are the solution or even that, you know, there's a solution that you can control to solve all your problems. I think that one thing that's different is
That we do come to a point where we reach the end of ourselves and learn not to trust in the world, but learn to trust the Lord. Do you see people ever coming in with that mindset where they are really in a fix it mode to try to fix every problem and pursuing it through their own control?
[00:17:22] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Absolutely. And what I've actually found is that some clients come to me and they are wanting just maybe like a one and done maybe one session, two sessions, and then they're, they're done and they're where they need to be, but that's really not how it works. And what I suggest to clients when they come to me is commit to six weeks.
Commit to six weeks so you can begin this, this process of gaining clarity or setting those small goals to reach the larger goals or whatever it may be, get to the root of some things. But six seems to be the magical number where clients really begin to receive breakthrough and Just an even find healing, but if they come to me and they're, they're thinking that they're going to get the answers to all their questions and the solutions to all of their problems in one or two sessions, it's, it's just not realistic.
And honestly, life is a journey, right? And we're not going to have all of the answers to all of our questions, this side of heaven. And sometimes On our journey of healing, that comes in multiple layers. So you may go and receive counseling or coaching for six, seven, eight weeks and receive breakthrough and be at an amazing place in your life and be reaching your goals and your dreams and all the wonderful things, you know.
Until we go home to be with Jesus, we're, we're just not gonna, nothing's going to be perfect in our lives. So we're still going to be going on a journey with him. We're still going to be reaching new levels of healing. We're still going to be, in a process of transformation and hopefully every year growing in our walk and growing in our faith.
So., It's definitely not just a one-and-done, and it's not it's not the answer to everything, and it's not the solution for everything, but it can help. It can help coaching and counseling can certainly help you on your journey.
[00:19:39] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah. And I liked what you said earlier about the loneliness and to say, Hey, Even if you're intentional with your relationships, even if you do all the things, there's probably still going to be some moments that you feel lonely and that's okay. You know, and the mental and emotional health are so closely tied.
It's like we're thinking and feeling, and that's influencing each other. But I think we're also conditioned that if we have any of those bad feelings, any of those negative feelings, it's like, what can I do to immediately get rid of them? But can you speak to that of like turning like, Hey, I am feeling lonely maybe, or sad or depressed or angry or whatever it is.
And like leaning into those emotions and what they're trying to tell you.
[00:20:25] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Yeah, I mean, I think that's really good, Stephanie, because, you know, emotions are, are part of life and they're normal and it's okay. It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel upset about things. It's part of life. And I mean, You know, I think even Christians, some Christians struggle with feeling even just like the feeling of anger.
They, you know, but, but the Bible doesn't say, don't be angry. It says, when you're angry, don't sin. Right. It says, don't let the sun go down on their wrath. It says to work it out, right? Work it out with people. But if you, if you have an issue of unforgiveness or, or whatever it may be, or work it out within yourself.
But there's nothing wrong with feeling the feelings and we want to acknowledge them because pretending like they don't exist and that they're not there can cause further issues, right? So we want to acknowledge them. We want to acknowledge that they're there, recognize them. Now, when it becomes a problem is when you get stuck in those feelings and stuck in a rut emotions and you're allowing your emotions to dictate your choices.
So we don't want to do that. We want to acknowledge them and then we want to work through them. And so that looks different for everyone, but it's definitely okay to feel those feelings and. and you want to address them.
[00:21:52] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: And what you're saying is so important because I think sometimes well-meaning Christians will say things like, well, the joy of the Lord is your strength. And so you should be feeling joy or you need to pray about it. You need to give it to God. And all of those things are true, or it's like you need to have faith and those things are all true statements, but sometimes people can receive that as a sign of, well, my faith must not be strong enough.
Otherwise, I wouldn't be having these problems, or the solution would be as easy as just repeating those things to myself. The Bible talks about a process of transformation. It says in Ephesians that you have to take off the old man and put on the new man. And so sometimes there is this process of taking apart and dismantling.
those strongholds or those patterns of thinking that have gotten you to where you are. So that you can work through that and get to a new place. And so do you find yourself when these clients come to you? Are you a lot of times going into the past into childhood issues? Like how frequently do those things come up?
[00:23:09] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: I think it really depends on what the client is coming in for. So I see that more with counseling than I do with coaching. Although coaching you can and often do end up tapping into core beliefs and roots of things, but I feel like it's more prevalent in counseling for you to really be looking at the past more.
So coaching more so looks at the future and where you're going and how you're moving forward and Counseling does as well, but counseling more taps into the past and maybe trauma triggers things of that nature. So and I, and I agree with you, Stephanie, I, I think that's so common to hear believers say, Hey, you know, what chin up trust in God, have faith and all those things are good and, and I'm a natural encourager.
So. I'm that way. And even with myself, I want to be optimistic. I want to be positive. But I think that there, there's a time for that. And there's also a time just to sit and listen. And really, I think that we would do well as a culture just to perfect that art of listening, because a lot of times when people come to us and they're sharing their heart, And they're sharing their struggles and the difficulties that they're going through.
They're not wanting someone to spout off advice to them. They're not wanting someone to fix their problem. They're just wanting a listening ear and someone that they can It's filled with compassion that's going just to be there with them in that moment and say, I hear you. I see you. This sounds really hard.
This sounds really tough. Maybe how can I pray for you? But people are not always looking for you to say, Give them advice or fix their problem. It's good just to be a listening ear and be there for someone when they're going through those moments of loneliness or struggle.
[00:25:07] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: That is such a good word to perfect the art of listening. That is something, yes, I agree with a hundred percent. On a personal note through all of your work in this area, what has been your biggest takeaway personally that's helped you in your own wellness journey?
[00:25:25] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: I think that my biggest takeaway obviously is going to be leaning on Jesus, right? And trusting in him, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all your ways. He'll, he'll direct your paths and make them straight, right? And so I think about that and, and I, Try to put that into practice and trust in him and lean on him when things are difficult.
But there are other things that I, that I tap into on my own personal journey, just to have good mental health. And a lot of those have to deal with just having, having healthy boundaries, you know, knowing what my limits are. Not overdoing it, not overextending myself and making sure that I have every week that Sabbath, you know, the Lord said that we should have that Sabbath and, and it's made for us, right.
So that we can rest like, like the Lord did and like he does. And so having that Sabbath, having my devotional time with the Lord, you know, that strengthens me that refreshes me. And I think that that's so important for mental health. And then there is a lot of other little little things that I like to do just to take care of myself, take care of my mental health again, like we were talking about earlier, just being intentional to invest in relationships.
My family is of my utmost priority in my life. And so investing in time with them, quality time, hanging out, having fun, taking vacations and investing in those relationships with my friends, you know, going to coffee, texting, talking on the phone, just connecting. And being a part of our church and shepherding our church and being a part of that community.
All of those things are life giving and they're good for my mental health and what I would recommend to, to people that are wanting just to have some more balance in their life.
[00:27:34] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Yeah, Those are such good tips and things for people to consider. And could you just leave everybody here today with a final word of encouragement when it comes to this mental health journey and any last advice that you would have for them?
[00:27:52] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Sure. Yeah. I mean, I would just say that whatever you're going through, wherever you're at in your life, if you're struggling going through a difficult season right now, it is a season. And if you lean on the Lord. and stick close to him and get in his word and just press into him. Whatever you're going through, you're going to draw closer to the Lord through your difficulties and your challenges and grow in your walk with him as you trust in him.
He's going to direct your steps and bring clarity to your path. And if you're going through a particularly lonely season, a tough season right now, my word of encouragement again would be trust in the Lord, lean on him, invest in those relationships, invest in community, you know, do what you can to take care of yourself in this season.
I know. You know, as, as a mom, just as a mom, a stay at home mom, I've always been the earlier years when my kiddos were little, they were difficult at times because being a stay at home mom, it can be challenging and can be lonely at times. And so if you're walking through a season like that, maybe you're a young mom, or maybe you've just had a, a job change or, or you've just moved or there's some big life transition, you know, get in a place where you can seek the Lord and get refreshed, get in a place where you can seek out community.
Don't isolate yourself and just know that whatever challenges you're going through in this season, the Lord's going to see you through and you're going to get through
[00:29:39] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Thank you so much for that encouragement and make sure you go to the description and the show notes. You'll see ways to connect with Amber there and ways to follow her on social media and connect with her coaching and counseling services. And Amber, would you just close us out in prayer today for all the listeners?
[00:29:59] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Yes, I'd love to. Jesus, we love you so much, and we just thank you, God, for everything that you're doing in our lives. God, I just speak a blessing right now to everyone that's listening to this podcast, Father. I just pray that, wherever they're at, whether they're in their kitchen, in their car outdoors with their kiddos, wherever they're at listening to this podcast right now, I just pray that they would feel your presence, Lord, and that they would just draw near to you in this season of their lives.
And they would grow, they would grow through. The obstacles, the challenges, the difficulties, even all the good, beautiful mountaintop moments, Lord, that they would just continue growing in you father and that you would bless them, God, you would bless them. And I just thank you father for Stephanie and for, for her life and how you're using her Lord.
And I just declare a blessing over her Lord. And I just thank you for this time together, God. And I pray that it is life giving to everyone who hears it in Jesus’ name. Amen.
[00:31:04] stephanie-hodges_1_04-30-2024_171118: Amen. Thank you so much, Amber.
[00:31:06] amber-kennedy_1_04-30-2024_171125: Thank you so much.
Just a reminder and disclaimer that this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice or professional counseling. Please be sure to consult your doctor before making any changes to your diet or exercise plan or starting to fast. Thanks for joining us on this journey to becoming wholly well.