Ep 009: Silence & Solitude as Transformative Spiritual Disciplines with Jessica Konzen

Our lives are busy, crowded, and noisy—which means we need the spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude more than ever.

Finding time to be still may feel impossible…but the payoffs are immeasurable!

Today’s guest, Jessica Konzen, tells us about the healing and transformation that has been established in her life through the practice of silence and solitude, spending time daily with the Lord.

She shares her journey and tips for making spending time with the Lord a regular practice in your life.

Trigger warning: this episode contains general references to trauma and childhood abuse.

BIO:

Jessica is a charismatic academic who could sit at the feet of Jesus all day studying the historical context of the Bible. Her ministry background includes pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Biblical Studies and Theology with a minor in communications at Regent University.

Jessica also spent two years at a Bible college where she gained a national ordination; she has been a church planter twice over, church staff for several years, executive pastor, and currently, Jessica is a chaplain for a corporate company and a part of her local church’s pastoral team. However, Jessica’s most cherished role in life is being a mom to three incredible kids and a wife to an amazing husband.

Her life scripture is Isaiah 61, especially passage four, which says, “They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.” Her life is that ruined city, rebuilt brick by brick by the Father. Jessica is a living testimony of incredible restoration, and her greatest joy is sharing the hope of the gospel.

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Show Transcript

Please note, the following transcript is AI-generated and therefore may contain grammar, formatting, and spelling errors.

Trigger warning: this episode contains general references to trauma and childhood abuse.

009 Jessica Konzen on Silence and Solitude

Stephanie Hodges: How do you hear God's voice? That's a question that so many people have. And one of the big answers is that you have to make some time to get quiet, to get still and to get alone in his presence. And that's what we're going to talk about today with my friend, Jessica. As we discussed the spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude. They're much needed in our busy world where we're always on the go, there's always noise. 

There's always input that can be coming in. But real transformation and healing can happen when we make the conscious decision to set aside time to be still and to be alone with the Lord.

Now I do want to mention for this episode, a little trigger warning. That Jessica does mention some past trauma and abuse, although she doesn't go into any detail about it, it's just mentioned generally. But once you to know that in case you're listening in a public place or have small children around, or that would just be something you'd like to know in advance.

I hope you enjoy this episode and you can visit whollywell journey.com for show notes And. more information.

Track 1: Well thank you everybody for joining us today and in today's episode we're gonna talk about the spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude. And I have my friend Jessica Konzen in here. 

And so we wanna welcome you, Jessica, and would love to hear just a little bit more about you and about your current season of life right now.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Well, first of all, I'd like to say thank you for inviting me on. It is such an honor to be able to share this and to just connect and be with you today. . I just honor you and this podcast and pray blessings over it. And so my name is Jessica Konzen and I currently reside in a small town outside of Austin, Texas.

I Am a pastor. I am currently. Wrapping up an undergrad in biblical studies and theology and a minor in communications. This May, I am a chaplain for a corporate company. I am part of the pastoral staff of a small town small church here in Georgetown. And I am a mom of three and a wife of an incredible husband.

And I have three large dogs and I love to run. So those are a few things about me.

Track 1: So basically what you're telling us is you're busy, you're a very busy lady taking care of all of that. No

Jessica Konzen: a very busy lady. Yes. Yes, I am.

Stephanie Hodges: Now, can you tell us a little bit about what spiritual disciplines mean for you? And you have two lenses on it, both as someone who has been studying and then also personally you have spiritual disciplines just as a believer in your personal walk. So can you kind of tell us from both angles what spiritual disciplines mean?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: I believe that they mean protection. So I am an hot an Enneagram eight for those who are into Enneagram still. So, you know, one of my biggest, focuses are injustice. And I feel like spiritual disciplines add a protection to your life. And so coming from somebody who studies and putting in those practicalities, you know I am a mom of three.

I do study. I. Quite a bit. I'm, you know, after I graduate, I'm planning on doing my master's in the fall and then, you know, God willing, my doctorate as well. And so I believe that it's, it is definitely feasible and allowing yourself to be disciplined. 'cause you are allowing yourself to be disciplined. 

Can create that peace in your life. So I believe that the spiritual disciplines in the form of practicality, but also in a personal level, can add peace and comfort and it's not a legalism. So that is where I think there is a misconception is I'm not. Practicing this on a le legalistic way. So it doesn't do anything for me as a believer.

It's not, you know, I'm not climbing the, the ladder of hierarchy when it comes to believers. but I am allowing myself to rest in the fact that God has called us to these spiritual disciplines and there are reasons why.

Track 1: Yeah, I love that because it's really true that there's a misconception. That if you're being disciplined, then you're already on this slippery slope to legalism, which is not necessarily true because as you said, it's a protection. And you're also just protecting yourself by being intentional and being focused and not wasting your time because there are so many things that can pull for our attention.

And as you mentioned, you have a lot of things going on with just . Family alone. And so having that discipline, like, can you talk about how that also relates to your busyness and to your schedule and how you keep all those balls in the air?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Right. Well, you know, it's just like, I know you're a runner also, and there's something about that being able to metabolize what you're doing, . In your own self with the father, with Jesus. And so therefore allowing your ability to kind of rest in what has always already been prepackaged. So, you know, we have been given these spiritual disciplines for reasons there, you know, and with fasting and 

 I'm preaching to the choir with this, but you know, we, it, fasting isn't just a, you know, maybe do it. We are called to do it. It's like suffering. You know, we, in the evangelical world, we are called to suffer as believers. It doesn't mean that we walk around like eor, but we are going to face certain things.

And so these practices allow us. To become more refined, but also have a closer intimacy with the father. And I think, you know, for me specifically, it's that intimacy that allows me to operate in so many different hats. If I'm operating in, in Jessica world, if I'm operating in flesh, if I'm operating in my own

You know, mind and, and, and personality. We would probably, you know, things wouldn't always be so peaceful, but it's because I can take a step back, you know, discipline myself to, to go to silence and solitude or discipline myself too fast, or discipline myself to, to go for a run. You know, I am pushing myself out of what I

Feel like doing and bring it to the feet of the father. And so whenever we discipline ourselves, we are taking what fleshly desires we may have, what we may naturally operate in, and we are submitting it to Jesus. And again, I probably will touch on submission a lot 'cause it's also a big part of . Of my life.

But you know, in that, you know, spiritual disciplines is very similar to submission. We are submitting our wills to the father, and in that submission there is protection. And so it's all about, um, dying to ourselves and, and crucifying ourselves and, and, and . Thankfully, God created us with wills, you know, and in doing so, we have the choice.

And so knowing that I'm laying aside that will. To find out what the father's will is, there is peace that is in that. There is restoration. There's reconciliation. There's healing in so many different ways. Whereas myself, I might, you know, I might get in a fight with somebody or or, or yell at my children or do something that would not be healthy.

For my walk with Jesus, or for studying, or for my children, or for my husband and our relationship, you know you know, diving into that, I, I was never one of those girls that grew up dreaming about marriage or, or having a family. And so to be married to an incredible husband is . it definitely sharpens me, but I have submitted myself to it and he makes me a better person.

He makes my life better. He makes our, and, and so I believe walking in that can only bear good fruit. You know, you're not and walking in what I might initially think doesn't always bear good fruit,

Track 1: Yeah, that's a good word and a good way to put it because it's like with so many things, with the discipline versus the legalism and the godly submission, what is the fruit of those things? That's how Jesus told us we're supposed to test it and. And when we're talking about spiritual disciplines, you mentioned some fasting, worship, bible reading, prayer, serving there's more.

But the ones that you have in particular talked to me about that has really blessed me are silence and solitude.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Yes.

Track 1: And so out of all of them, I know we talk a lot about prayer, we talk a lot about Bible reading and certainly about fasting on this podcast, but tell us more about silence and solitude and what led to those standing out for you.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Absolutely. Well, you know, we live in a world of constant communication and chaos. Right. And even being a, a mom, it's even more so just to tell you a funny story. At the beginning of this summer, I went to Hawaii and. For a, a retreat to get away, to pray to, to discipline myself on the beaches and, and and why I was there.

Now, keep in mind, my family was not with me. I was with a group of women. Why I was there, I receive a text message from my oldest child and it says, can I spend the night at Cooper's house? And my response was, where is your father? Not even 3000 miles away could stop the chatter that was constantly going on, right.

My children are still gonna reach out to me and in the world today, you know, we are inundated with technology. We spend over 13 hours a day with technology. We spend seven hours a day alone on screens and scrolling, and we constantly are being . Inundated with, how can we do better? How can we pray more?

How can we serve more? How can we do all of these things? And we have no time alone or in silence, but God calls us to silence and solitude. Jesus spent 90% of his life in obscurity. We see it throughout the entire, entire Bible with many different characters.

And in particular, you know, no one likes to hear the word silence and solitude. I've heard it called many things over the years. St. John of the Cross called it The Dark Night of the Soul. In the nineties we called it marinating. I've heard it called soaking. I've heard it, waiting for his presence.

Pete Scazzero Brook calls it the Daily Office. It's time set aside where everything else is completely stripped away and we are waiting completely dependent upon God. The problem with this is it means that we have no control. We have no control of what is . Happening. We don't set the mood. We don't like candles.

We're not having, you know, tons of worship music going on. And, and sometimes you know, being in the wilderness can be considered a time of silence and solitude. And a lot of people view wilderness as. A negative thing. A few Sundays ago we were in church and we were singing that song, refiners Fire, and it's like, I wanna be tried by Fire And Hunter.

My husband leans over to me and he goes, you're singing that kind of loud, do you know what you're saying? And we just kind of giggled because, um, you know, no one likes. To be in that refiner fire. Well, what people don't realize is that the word wilderness actually has several different meanings in Hebrew, you know, the Hebrew translation to words normally has two or three meanings, and the root word of wilderness is also the root word.

Which is madar, which is also the root word, debar, which means ber, which means to speak. So in actuality, the word wilderness means communication. So there are many times that we see in our lives or we see through characters throughout the Bible where God has specifically put people in the wilderness.

To communicate and to speak to them. And for me personally, my time set aside in silence and solitude is a time that I allow the father to completely speak to me or to heal me, or to refine me. It is a time where I go in with no agenda and I wait for the presence of God. One of the passages that really spoke to me over the last like seven or eight years in

One of the reasons why I jumped into this was Exodus 33 talks about how Moses would take his tent outside the mountain and wait for the face of God. And I told the father, I said. I'm going to take my tent figuratively outside my mountain and I am going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you to speak to me and Annie Wood.

And you know, my testimony. Yes, I have great accolades. I've served in many kinds of areas of ministry, but I also walked away from the church for 10 years, and I have an incredibly tragic . Terrible testimony where I've experienced so many things in life that, that should have killed me, that should have you know, I had a psychologist once telling me that I should be either dead or an insane asylum, and it is because of the restoration of Jesus.

Specifically Isaiah 61, 4 is my life. Isaiah 61 is my life scripture. But, verse four of that passage really is what God's done in my life. And it talks about renewing the ancient ruins, raising them up from the former desolation, and even one translation talks about it brick by brick. Well, for me, I.

Someone who has walked through great trauma and tragedy, yet was highly called of God and has an incredible destiny upon my life. I had to get alone many times so that God could heal me and speak to me and walk me through some of these events in my life. You know. Sitting in silence and solitude is an inward manifestation of God's presence and is a daily practice.

And sometimes, you know, it's, it is not legalistic or religious for me. There are times that . I spend hours sitting in the presence of God, and sometimes it's when I'm on a run or sometimes it's when I'm in a shower. I've gotten to the place where I can tune into the presence of God, that when I'm needing to realign my spirit with his and submit my spirit to him, I'm able to do that.

Track 1: That's awesome. And I wanna say, when you were talking about the wilderness communication, this image came into my mind of, remember when you're in school and you would get stuck on a problem or some work that you were doing. It's like you pause and you raise your hand and you wait for the teacher to come help you.

It's in that waiting time when you, you get to the point where you're like, I don't know what else to do. I need some help here. And that's a good place for us to always be in and not wait till something goes wrong and we get stuck. But to make it a regular daily presence. And then when the teacher comes, sometimes they're gonna just.

Give you the answer or make it easy for you. Other times they may give you a tip for how to work it out for yourself. And other times there may just be silence back and it may be you're gonna have to figure this out yourself. And I think that kind of relates to sometimes what can happen in this silence and solitude.

Can you talk about the different experiences during this time? Like, we would hope that each day we would come, we would . Feel God's presence so strongly that it would be super enriching and powerful, but day by day sticking with it. What range of experience do you have?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, just to state a few things you know, to go into those experiences. But before I do, you know. I do want to give the people that are listening and understanding that it is uncomfortable to sit in silence and solitude. And that is not their fault, . It is. You know, so I want to affirm them.

You know, in church history, you know, we eradicated silence and solitude, dis spiritual discipline from the church. You know, for the first thousand years we had after the apostles. Passed away. We had the early church fathers and we were one church for the first thousand years of the church being what it is, you know, or what it was at that moment.

And then around 10 54 ad we split into three different churches. And then with the Protestant Reformation, which was the 16 hundreds, there was a great sweeping of eradicating . Silence and solitude from all churches and all monasteries because of some of the hardships that were going on. So not only as a Big C Church do we have constant communication going on that we are mothers and fathers who have children who are constantly coming at us, but even as a global church, it has been eradicated from the daily practices.

but at the same time, going back to. Jesus living 90% of his life in obscurity and you know, Moses meeting God face to face on the mountain and so many others. It is such a spiritual practice that is a life vein for, for them and should be for us as well. So I just wanted to state that before we go in, but yes, so.

I, I began this practice about seven or eight years ago. My spiritual father at the time preached a message called The Gift of Loneliness, and there's something about being in loneliness. You know, when I'm ministering to pastoring people and they tell me that they're in a season of loneliness, I actually tell them, I'm so excited for you because it, it can either do two things. It either can strip you away from the church or it can push you into the arms of the father. 

And so for me, it pushed me into the arms of the father. And I would get up around five o'clock in the morning and I would go down and I would practically wait for the, for the face of God.

And, and, and there, you know, in my life I talked about trauma. Know, and I'm not sure the age range that listens gonna be listening to your podcast, but you know, not to go too graphic, but I've experienced, you know, rape and molestation. My brother jumped from a bridge in 2010. I have lived almost on the streets.

I have struggled with drugs and alcohol. I have been divorced. There are many things in my life that have been destructive and a majority of my healing happened, not at the altar. Not that it can't, not in therapy, which I am a huge advocate for therapy. I believe you need to save for your children's wedding and college fund, but I also think that you need to save for your child's therapy bill because they will probably need it.

But not that it can't, but it happened in the arms of Jesus by myself. And, and, you know, a few stories in particular. One day I came home from a therapy session where I was doing EMDR with you know, my counselor, and it was a pretty heavy . EMDR session where we were going back to times that I had been sexually abused as a child and I come home and before that I had been in the presence of God like a few days before and I had had a four-part vision.

And in this vision, I won't bore you with all the details, but there was one part in particular where I was kneeling down holding who I thought was my daughter, Lily. And I thought to myself, fantastic. I'm gonna be a Pinterest mom. This is wonderful. Thanks God. And so fast forward again. I go to this therapy session and I come home and I'm heavy, like it's heavy going through these sessions, and I walk into the kitchen and my sweet husband and I get into a pretty hefty conversation about finances and

I am just, I am shattered at this moment, and I tell Hunter, I said, I need to go get into the presence of God. And so I go into my office and I sit down and I say to the father, I say, oh, father, I don't even feel worthy to be in your presence. And I hear, oh, daughter, but come. And in that moment I see a flash of the vision where I'm leaning down, holding my daughter Lily.

But I have the revelation that it's not my daughter that I'm holding. It's holding myself as a child. And in that moment, I knew the father was telling me. Daughter, I know this is hard, but I am with you. Keep going. Had I not spent time in silence and solitude, had I not spent time waiting, had I not spent time with the spiritual discipline, I would've never experienced that vision.

I would've never experienced that word, and I never would've walked in that healing. And then another time in particular. I have a friend who is highly prophetic and she would do she came over one day and she was like, the Lord told me to get you a bouquet of Lily's. And I was like, oh, great. My daughter's name is Lily.

That's great. Maybe thank you. And so I'm sitting there one morning and I am like, I, you know, I wait for the presence of God and I tell the Father, I really wanna be romanced by you. And at this time I was really searching for my identity and I wanted to know what heaven thought about me.

And I really wanted to be romanced by the father. Well, what's the most romantic book in the Bible? Well, song of Solomon, of course. And so I am sitting there five o'clock in the morning, I go to the song of Solomon, and the first scripture that I see is Song of Solomon Tutu. And it says, as a Lilly among the brambles, so is my love among the young women.

And I look up and the bouquet of lilies are sitting on my desk. Well, you see, a lily is an exquisite, mysterious flower. Right, and brambles are thorns. I get emotional every time talking about this, and the brambles try to wrap around. The Lilly, they try to scar and Maine, they try to destroy and shred, but really what ends up happening is the lilies grow even stronger and they become even more exquisite, and they become more beautiful.

The father was telling me in that moment that I was his lily among the brambles. Even though the world said I was worthless, even though the world said I was done and the church, I had been in church circles where they rejected me or or didn't wanna have anything to do with me, he was telling me I was his lily and that I was more exquisite and more beautiful because I was going to him and because of the suffering I had endured.

And again, if I had not walked through, um, sitting with him, if I had not been open to hearing his voice, if I had not been going back every single day to practice this discipline, I. Then I may never have gotten that word. I may never have turned to that scripture, and I may never have known that Heaven said I was a lily among the brambles.

So those are just two stories in particular that kind of I. That I love to share because, you know, when I meet and pastor or minister to people, it is always, you know, silence and solitude is kind of a niche of mine, and I am, if anything, anytime I share anything with a person, if they can take one tidbit from my conversation with them, it's to get into the presence of God.

And it doesn't, you don't have to set the mood . You don't have to light candles, you don't have to turn down the lights. It doesn't have to be perfect. You don't have to put on the latest and greatest worship song. It's literally just waiting on him. And I feel like that if people will do this more than they will be impactful, not only for their own healing journey, but for others.

Track 1: Yeah. Thank you for sharing those stories. That's really, really powerful. And the overarching question in the podcast is, what is your holy well journey look like? And I think what you're saying is really key in that it's not just one thing. And I'm also a huge believer in counseling, and I've been to counseling myself, and I'm a huge believer in going on those retreats and to the events and having those moments that you experience corporately that are really powerful.

But then there also has to be this personal time that you're spending with the Lord, and it's not that you can do it only all alone. You need other people. They're a part of your story. They're a part of your journey and you need them to help you, but it's not an either or. It's a both and, and it's an all of the above.

So that as you are putting yourself in these different situations, you're allowing the Lord to heal different facets and speak to you in different ways, and it's all part of growing and maturing and living a holistic life.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Right, 

Track 1: yeah. So you said something interesting about that your quiet time sometimes is even in the shower, it's when you're running or doing something else. But what is it that makes that time different than just when you're daydreaming or you're just kind of in normal type of silence? What makes it a time that you're putting dedicating to the Lord?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: I believe that it, you know, so just to and I keep saying the word practically because I realize that people like to equate this with. You know, a new age practice or meditation or something like that, and that is not what it is at all, right? I am not transcending or watching myself breathe. What I am doing is I'm going into a room.

It can be your car, it can be on a run, it can be fishing. My brother does it when he fishes, and it is simply telling the father, I wanna invite you into this. Into this place. I wanna invite your presence into this place and then turning your heart towards Jesus and literally just stopping and waiting.

And, you know, when I'm on a run and I've, I've gotten, so, you know, one of the things about this practice is I began to really Be able to understand and differentiate when it was my own thought in my brain, or whether it was the voice of the Lord and it's not a one and done or a quick Understanding. Sometimes maybe it is for some people, but it wasn't for me, it was a progression over many years and it was understanding that when I go into this place to turn inwardly, turn my heart. Because you can tell whenever you're, you're on a run or, or your mind's thinking about, but it is like, it's it. And sometimes my brain, my thoughts are like pinging pong balls, you know, binging bing, bing binging.

They go back and forth and it's definitely a hard practice. To calm them down and turn it towards the Lord, but it's simply saying, no, I'm not gonna think about the grocery list. No, I'm not gonna think about, I'm gonna wait on the voice of the Lord for me when I first was getting started or when I'm really walking through something heavy.

It is better if I'm in a pitch dark black room. For my husband Hunter, it is better if he's moving his body. If he can get up at five o'clock in the morning and he can go for a walk and it's moving. 'cause if he sits there in a dark room, he's gonna fall asleep, , you know? And so for me it's not being distracted by lights or sounds or music.

I do listen to music occasionally, but it's instrumental. Music that I listen to, it's not words, and then I followed the notes with my . With my brain patterns. And I know that seems a little strange, but again, I've practiced it so many different times that I can literally visualize the way that my brain would move or, you know, my thought process.

aNd so on a run, you know, we've dealt with some, some. Different struggles this week and last night I took one of my dogs and we went for over an hour walk in the dark and without music, without saying anything and just kind of saying, okay, Lord, I need to process this situation with you and so I'm going to wait on you in this moment.

And again, sometimes it's incredible. Sometimes I hear the voice of the Lord. Sometimes there's crazy manifestations. Sometimes I start crying. Sometimes I think about a Bible scripture, and then sometimes it's just a really good try. But the deal is you go back again. I. You go back again and again and again.

And for my life, for my family, they, I mean, I practice this with my own children, you know. My daughter had an incident at school and we went straight to the closet. We, she received her prayer language this past summer at church camp, and we sit in the prayer closet and we wait on the pre. I've practiced, I have taught them to practically do it.

My oldest son had his first heartbreak and it was pretty heavy for him. And we went straight to the closet. We went to the closet. We waited on the presence of God. Then we broke off any kind of connection and, you know, walked through that process. My youngest son is actually here today. And we are going, after I get off this podcast, we are going into the closet to pray through some things and he's eight, but I want them to feel like.

This is normal. I want them no matter what situation it is. Celebration, heartache, heartache, death loss, win. You go back to the presence of God. You see it with David all through the Psalms. I love the Psalms. because David starts out, where are you? My bones are brittle. I'm dying. I'm wasting away. And then by the end of it, he's like, you're incredible.

You're magnificent. Glory to God. There's something about sitting in the presence of God where you can fully, it's almost like you're getting into a position and, and, and not to be too graphic, but you are. You are naked. Before because you can't do anything. You are waiting and you are turning over your heart and soul to the presence of God, to expose, to refine, to heal, to disciple and whatever else it might be in that moment.

Sometimes also, it may last an hour or so. Sometimes it may be 15 minutes. And so I think that getting into the mind frame, . Of, you know, I have friends who find it real. Oh, part of the chaplaincy that I do is all online. So I'm a chaplain for a corporate company. A lot of my clients are overseas. They're, I have some in Israel, I have some in South America.

And then I have some here in the States where I am basically discipling them from biblical context and we walk through you know, life things and it's all from a biblical, not counseling. 'cause I'm not a counselor. I strictly do biblical context. . And so talking to them about sitting in the presence of God, one has a really long commute so she can turn off the music, she can tell her, her body, her soul, her mind, her heart.

I'm turning you over to the will of God. I'm gonna wait for his presence and I'm gonna wait for his voice. And then she does it as she drives. So it's just an inward turning, um, of your heart and your soul and your mind to the presence of God.

Track 1: I think this is counter-cultural. Even in church culture, we can sometimes fall into this trap where we feel like we need to do more when we're struggling or when we're seeking for breakthrough. It's like, well, I need to do more. I need to read another book. I need to find another Bible study. And really, this is not only like our salvation, a free gift that we need to open our hands and receive, but this costs no money.

It's only about our time and our letting go, and I think it's so important that we each have this personal connection with the father. That it's not just, you know, thank you for listening to the podcast, but it's not about just listening more to more podcasts and reading more books and consuming more content. It's getting quiet enough to hear from the Lord directly for yourself. There's nothing more powerful than that.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Well, and that reminds me of, you know, I, I talked about Moses and I talked about Jesus, but another person, character in the Bible that often did this was Elijah, you know, and we all know the story where Elijah got into the confrontation with Jezebel and she basically threatened him. He went to the tree.

He said, kill me. Now. Jesus sent angels and food and told him to take a nap and eat some food. Right? Well, the story right after that is we see Elijah waking up and God is like, I want you to go to Mount Horab. Mount Horab is the same as Mount Sinai. If you had a picture of. Of a map of Mount Sinai. It is a mountain and all around it is desert and wilderness, right?

So he made him go outside of where he was currently to Mount Sinai or Mount Horab to wait. And get a word from the, from the Lord. So he goes to this mountain and he's waiting for the Lord. At first, he starts to complain. He starts to complain about what he did, that he's the only zealous one, that he's the only righteous man, and that everybody else is forsaken.

And the Lord told him to go and wait. So he's waiting. Well, all of a sudden, a huge strong wind comes right. And God was not in the strong wind. He has been in the strong wind before. It's kind of like a worship service. I'm not getting anything out of a worship service. You've heard God's voice in the worship service before, but he's not there right now.

Then comes an earthquake while Elijah was waiting. Same thing again. I'm not, you know, I'm not getting as much outta my Bible as I used to and Elijah. Was waiting for God and the earthquake had been before with Mount Sinai, but it wasn't. God's voice wasn't there again. Then we see a fire come again. God's voice wasn't in the fire.

We'd seen it previously with Moses. Here we are listening to worship music in modern day times. It's not really doing anything for me anymore. And he is just sitting there and waiting. And then it says that God came. In a lot of translations, it says a still small voice, but in the actual Hebrew translation, the, the, the interpretation is a sound of sheer silence, and it was in the sound of sheer silence that Elijah finally heard the word of the Lord.

And for me that's so powerful because there's so many times that just like you were talking about how, you know, I'm not, which there's a whole other I could preach on not getting anything out of a church service. Anyway, that's a whole other subject, . bUt you know, there's so many times that we listen to podcasts that we worship, that we still are like, I'm not getting what I feel like I need to get.

Maybe God's trying to tell you to go get alone. Maybe God's trying to speak to you in a sound of sheer silence. Maybe God's trying to get you to do something different because he wants to talk to you more. He wants to heal you. He wants you to know his voice so that you can make impact in other people's lives.

And that's the biggest, you know, I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the presence of God and it's not always been lovely. Like, I mean, I yell, I talk aback. I like, you know, ask him questions. But I always go back whether I'm licking my wounds after being a battle, or I'm going to sit and just worship his name because I'm so grateful of what has gone on.

I will go to the presence of God and we see it again all throughout the scripture. And I believe that in the modern day church today and what God is about to do, we see a shakedown going on in the evangelical world. All kinds of, of things that we thought were how church was supposed to be, are beginning to crumble around us.

What are we to do? What are your listeners to do? I Feel like they need to get into a time of silence and solitude where they can completely wait on the voice of the Lord or they can be refined.

I mean, there's other times I go in. And you know, we all understand blatant sins, right? Like if, if, if I were to kill somebody or lie or steal, but sometimes there's things rusting in your heart that you're almost completely unaware of. And there's been so many times that I've gone into the presence of God and the Lord is like, Hey, like what's this?

And I'm like, man, I didn't realize that was jealousy. I didn't realize that was pride. I'm so sorry. You know, and again, it is the stripping away. Another thing that we often struggle with as evangelicals is you know, in one John it talks about if somebody's in sin today, it is the less of the eyes, the less of the flesh or the pride of life it's found in one John.

We also see Jesus tempted by it in the desert that pride of life is self-reliance. I cannot stand the hustle cul culture. I cannot stand. There's a a, a friend of mine a long time ago gave me a plaque that said she believed she could, so she did. And I hate that plaque because no, I don't wanna be known as she believes she could.

She did. I don't wanna be known as superwoman. I wanna be known as somebody who is so submitted to the voice of the Lord that I am only his. That's what I wanna be known as. Not someone who achieved everything, but somebody who could sit at the feet of Jesus all day long and do what he wants her to do.

Track 1: Yeah. I think it's clear from all that you have said and the scriptures that you shared with us that. The foundation of the word of God is really important, and that's what differentiates this from silence to listen to other voices or inner voices. But sometimes people are still a little bit afraid of that.

And I think there would be two things that if somebody is interested in taking this step, but they might have two questions. One being practically, I just can't sit still and be quiet. I get so antsy, I get so agitated. How can I do that? The second one being, how can I make sure that the voices and the things that I'm hearing are the right voices?

And you talked a little bit about that discernment. So can you address those two things for somebody who'd be new to this practice?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Yes. One is. I would suggest trying to do it anyway. I would suggest going into a closet or into an office or into a room and trying to sit still. Part of renewing your mind is understanding that God can do and will do, especially with a heart that is submitted and aligned to him. If you begin to feel uncomfortable or there are things that begin to pop up, there is a there could be

The Lord is trying to show you different areas that are not submitted. But if you continue to go back every day, and let's just say you try it for 30 days every day and you get nothing, which I would be shocked, then I would suggest going for a walk. With no music sitting on a bench in a park, I would suggest sitting elsewhere without, or, or, you know, going for a run or driving around in your car.

There are different things that you can do. I, I also, I struggle with, a-D-H-D-I have adult, A DHD. I love it. I feel like it's a superpower. It allows me to manage many things at one time and see everything going on. It also causes me to be quite overstimulated and overwhelmed at times, but part of that is I have to study a lot.

I spend a lot of time writing 30 page papers, and I spend time reading, you know, 600 pages of a historical book over Philippians in, in a short amount of time. I do that by walking on the treadmill. Sometimes whenever I'm reading or walking around the room, maybe you have to walk back and forth. Maybe you need to squeeze a ball, a squishy ball, one of your children's squishy balls that they get from, you know there are different things.

My whole point would be don't give up. And honestly, if you're desperate enough, if you are desperate enough. Then you'll continue to go back. If you are tired of pain and you are tired of not having peace and you are tired of being alone, then you will continue to go back and in the voice of the Lord, hearing the voice of God sounds a lot like your own right.

It's not like I hear a big booming voice. Now, I have heard audible voices before, not a whole lot, but I have a lot of times my own voice or it sounds just like my own voice. This might weird a few people out, but the way that I know that the voice of the Lord is the placement that I hear it coming from.

So if it comes across, and again, I have paid attention. You might be like, how do you know this? Because I've spent a lot of time paying attention to my senses and paying attention to how God is speaking to me. But if it's my own thought, it normally comes across the front of my brain. If it's a thought from the Lord, it drops down in my spirit from the back of my brain.

Now, I can also say that it, if you hear the voice of the Lord sometimes. It's a thought that pops into your brain that wasn't normally in there. Meaning like we're talking about silence and solitude, and the father says ask Stephanie about the color blue. Or I hear, ask Stephanie about the color blue.

Well, that's not something that I was originally thinking about. It's not in my line of thought process at the moment. It doesn't have to do with chores. It doesn't have to do with my to-do list. It has to do with something that is completely random and so that occasionally is the voice of the Lord. You can also hear the voice of God or when God is speaking to you.

It happens in scripture, but it also happens with impressions. It also happens with things being highlighted. It also happens with a check in your spirit. The way that you begin to understand and train yourself is by going back and doing this over and over, and over and over again. When you do that and you sit into the presence of God and you ask him, you ask the Holy Spirit to help you believe, because that's, you know, my husband is an Enneagram five, he's a thinker, and he has a difficulty at times his, and he wasn't raised charismatically like I was, and so therefore things he, he, he's a little bit more skeptical about different things, but he has gone back.

Over and over again, and he has asked the Lord to help him with any unbelief. And I'm gonna tell you that if you're going into the presence of God, you're not gonna have some random, crazy, it's not like you're going to be. Possessed or anything like that. This is completely telling the Holy Spirit that I'm going to trust you.

You've given, you know, Jessica has given me scripture on the different people in the Bible, so we line it up. With the word of God always. You always check everything with the word of God, line it up with the word of God. We see all through the Bible people doing this practice, and so I'm going to try it out.

I'd also say, you know, when you're in a relationship with somebody and you constantly go in and you just do all the talking, you're not really building that relationship. Well, you have to be able to give and compromise when you're in a relationship with somebody and allow them to talk. If you go into a relationship and you're like, well, I just can't hear my husband's name's Hunter.

I just can't hear Hunter. You know, I try, we go on dates and I can't hear him, but if I never shut up, if I never give him space to talk, how am I gonna know his voice? How am I gonna know what he's saying to me? How am I gonna understand his touch? I'm not. I can't believe that I would know it if he just sits there and I never give him room to hug me or to touch me or to speak to me.

And so part of our relationship, which, you know, we were created to be in covenant and be in relationship with the father, but if you're constantly doing so much and you're constantly moving so much and talking, how are you ever gonna know his voice? Not everybody's the same. That's the thing is your spiritual giftings are different than my spiritual giftings.

But he does give us these spiritual giftings and we all should desire to hear his voice, and I believe that he will honor whenever you step into this.

Track 1: That's so good and I feel like we could do a whole other podcast about hearing God's voice and that would be a great topic. I feel like that's a common question. But let's wrap up for today and we have two questions that we conclude with, and the first one is, what book or podcast, either or would you recommend to people?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Well, I have a book and a podcast, so I would say book-Wise. It's a really easy read. It's called A Tell of Three Kings by Gene Edwards, and I read it. If not quarterly, at least. I mean, I, I constantly read it there. I can quote it like, it is such a beautiful book and I highly recommend it. Again, you could probably sit down and read it in a few hours.

Very easy read podcast. I would say my is t right. Ask NT Wright anything. He is my favorite modern day theologian. One reason why I love him so much and that particular podcast of his is pretty pretty easy as well. He explains a lot of theology. He explains a lot of different biblical context, but he is probably, I would say I honor him as the greatest modern day theologian.

And so he definitely is somebody that I would share.

Track 1: I love that. I've read one of his books and it was really amazing.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Yeah.

Track 1: And the last question is, what advice would you give to your 25-year-old self?

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Yeah, I saw that question on the and it like stirred up a whole bunch of stuff and I was like, I'm gonna have to go get God's presence to talk about that one. But you know, as I was sitting here it is that you are enough. And you are not too old. I've always struggled with being too old. , even at 25. So

Track 1: Oh, if that's the one thing somebody can walk away with. If you are in your twenties, you are definitely not too old.

And if you're in your eighties, you are not too old. You are never too old.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: no.

Track 1: Well, thank you so much for sharing with us today, Jessica, and we just pray a blessing over you and your studies and your ministry and all that you're doing.

Thanks for being with us.

jessica-konzen_2_12-08-2023_101750: Thank you.

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